A doctor, to be or not to be

“I will quit” Moabite says.

“Are you stupid? You will have wasted 1.5 years of your life for nothing!” A voice answers him. The voice then continues, “Supposedly, you are to change your major. Can you tell me of a possible major that is better than your current one? Or at least, equal to your current major?”

-“Well, umm…” Moabite is puzzled for he hadn’t ever thought of what another major ‘suits’ him. “OK, let me think. Engineering?! How much will it be different from Medicine?! A one hour or two hour a day?! For example, my cousin who graduated last semester from JUST as an mechanical engineer, told me that he studied till 10 or 11 o’clock every day. You know what I mean?! It is not that different.” Moabite stops because he is as desperate as a person lost in a desert, he then continues to increase his deseperation, “I forgot another important thing about engineering,” He sighs like a mourned mother, “Physics, Mathematics… I couldn’t believe myself when I finished the (Biophysics course) which I took in my first university semester. Will I go back to this boring subjet? Oh my god!” Then he continues to discuss other majors: “English Literature?! Now, I long to the time where I can read an English novel. But I don’t think that it will be a leisure time if it was a job of mine to do. What is more, let me imagine that I will have the money, time, and will to get a pHD in English literature. What is the best job I can get?! I can’t think of a Job better than a university professor. Imagine how beautiful will I be chasing the students who don’t want to give homeworks, or try to record the absent student of my lectures, etc. All boring things a doctor has to do. My answer is hell no!”

– “There are hundreds of majors; you want me to understand that you only like those 2 majors?”

– “What would you like me to become? A teacher where an illiterate army soldier will get a higher salary than mine?! Or a nurse being under the commands of arrogant doctors?! Don’t tell me that I should study to be a lawyer?! Or,”

– “Hey, stop… stop…” The voice interrupted him. “I thought that you want another major than Medicine?! You are critizing other majors making me understand that Medicine is the best major ever, aren’t I true?”

– “Well, I have to admit it. I can’t find a major better than it. First of all, you are dealing with the most intelligent doctors in the university. Not to mention that most of them, if not all, have got their degrees from advanced countries. What is more, the quality of students you find in Medical schools are the best of the best. Surely there is exceptions of students who got there either by their parent’s money or by chance through a lucky scholarship from somewhere. Thirdly and most importantly, what is the major in which almost 100% of your textbooks are in English?! There is nothing. Maybe engineering major will compete a little bit. But surely, doctors in Engineering faculties won’t give you pure English lectures. Fourthly, the virtual boring years of Medical schools are only the very first 3 years. ‘People will start to call you (Doctor X), not to mention all the respect that you will get because you will be known as a Doctor.’ A fourth year medical student in our faculty in Mu’tah university expressed the situation after the first 3 years.

To sum up, most people in my society agree that Medicine is a great major. I haven’t reached the point where I say that I agree with them. However, gradually, I discover the benefits, fun and blessing of studying medicine.”

– “You are complicating the issue on me, you love, or as you expressed it, you gradually love medicine. Can I know why the fuss is all about?! Why are you frowning all of the time?! Why are you always thinking of the future negatively?! Why do you always fear to fail at exams?”

– “They are the 3 courses, the triangle of evil. Anatomy, Physiology, and Embryology. They are nightmarish to me. If I am not dreaming about sitting in the exam and not being able to answer equations in Physiology, I will be thinking about the possible ‘hard’ questions of anatomy lab exam. I am devastated. My abdomen is full of gases, and this is surely a sign of stress and depression. I can’t help it. I am always fearing failing those courses. Thinking of the possibility that I will have to leave the faculty after wasting 2 years of my life.”

– “Trust in God. If you trust in God, then you wont’ fear those silly nightmares of yours.”

– “God?! I know that there must be a God, but how can I communicate with him?! How can I know that he is listening to me?! Or worst, how can I know that he is up there?! I just can’t convince my mind to believe in something which I consider to be illogical and contradictory.”

– “ “ The voice doesn’t answer.

– “You understand what I mean?!”

– “But remember one thing, without God, whomever you consider him to be, a human being’s life is empty. Why should he live?! Remember the thoughts which you had last year before quitting university?! “God has a plan for your life. You didn’t come as a result of a mere coincidence. God knew you from your mother’s womb. Some where in the old testament, maybe in the book of Isahiah, you can read, ‘I have curved you on the palm of my hand’. Yes, you are here in your earthly journey for a purpose. God wants you, and everyone, to fulfill the purpose for which they were created. What is your purpose?! You might not have recognized it yet, but remember something, the place where you are here is the place where God wants you to be. You are, also, not sitting on the computer seat of your house in a hot Smakieh summer day for no purpose. God wanted you to be there.”

– “OK, OK…” Moabite replies, “I believe that I am here for a purpose, I bet you that I am. The problem is that when I study, another fear comes to me, ‘What if I die tomorrow?! Acciedents happen as easy as falling in Jordan, what is the possibility of your not participating in an accident some day?! Almost nothing, right?! How can I be sure that my efforts won’t be lost just in seconds where I will die and never exist again. Can you answer me?”

– The voice doesn’t wait, it answers immediately: “I know that you believe in the idea of the existence of God, true? Surely after your death, you will go to this place where you will meet this God. It is not necessary to know how and when, you must realize what Ali Bin Abi Talib said brilliantly, ‘Work for you afterlife as if you were to live for ever, work for you earthly life as if you are going to live forever.” You know this saying, but you do not want to imply it on your life. If you were more intellectual person, then what you read will help you in your life.”

– “But…”

– “Stop! I am done with your silly thoughts. You have molecular Biology to study for now. Or should I say, Anatomy?! Anyhow, study whatever subject you want. But remember those 2 things that I will say to you, what is more important than your listening to me is that you Practice them in your life. Should I emphasis it again?! Practice them! Understood?”

– “Alright. Although, I have a week full of exams, I will try to apply whatever you tell me.”

– “First thing, invest the time which you have between lectures or after finishing lectures to socialize with your fellow students. You had the idea formulated in your mind this week, don’t you remember it?! ‘I love studying medicine. I never knew that it is so fun to study medicine’ Didn’t you have this idea this week?”

– “I had.” Moabite answers somehow more excitedly than before.

– “I wanted to banish you for interrupting me, however, your excited tone changed my mind. See? This is what I am talking about.” The voice pauses then continues to the second point. “Secondly, there is this medical forum you registered in last week. You should start participating in it. The type of people you will find in this forum can’t be found in any other kind of forums. Don’t you agree with me?! Maybe you will meet your female-friend that you have been dreaming through one of your participations. Moreover, you could finally have people who will read your Blog as a person from the middle east. What could even be most interesting, you could also find Blogs of people who share the same passions as yours. Don’t you think so?! Now excuse me, I will have to go so as to leave you to your studies. Remember, study for the pleasure of knowledge. Good luck in your exam on Monday. Start studying on the subject from now stopping between now and then to study some anatomy. All the good luck!”

– “But wait,” Moabite voice says but then stops because he realized that he has study to do. He knows that it doesn’t matter what marks will he get. What matters most importantly at the mean time believes that Moabite falling a course is just a silly idea.

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